I met a friend at the airport last month and we got to talking. We had met after some years and while catching up, he mentioned, “You know Aishwarya, I have started focusing more and more on myself as I grow older. Earlier I used to think that it is a selfish thing to do, but now I know that it is only by focusing on my own self that I can focus on the important things of life – my family, my work, and all the things I hold dear!”
Here's an advise -- BE YOURSELF! Too often, we give too much credit to other people’s opinions. As social animals, we humans have a natural tendency to give other people’s opinions far too much weight. We can become overly concerned by what others believe, think, or say about us and our life choices. It’s so easy to forget that most people place themselves at the center of their mental universes. And are much more likely to be paying attention to their own lives than whatever you are doing! This is a liberating thought because it frees us up from caring so much about what others think. We can start to put our focus back on living an authentic life that reflects our true self. Once you truly appreciate the value of being yourself, you will find that life becomes much simpler and less stressful. You will no longer be trying to please everyone around you and burning up precious energy on those whose opinions really do not count for much anyway.
The actions you take during your first few months when starting something new have a major impact on your success or failure. Build positive momentum early on and it will propel you through your tenure. Make some early missteps and you could face an uphill battle for the rest of your time. The biggest challenge we face during these periods is staying focused on the right things. You are drinking from the proverbial fire hose while trying to get settled and figure out how to start to have an impact. It’s easy to take on too much or to waste your precious time. So, it helps to have a set of questions to guide you.
How do you put your writing out in public when there is a pool of strangers to judge? You’d think that after 2 years of public blogging and writing, I’d be completely free of fear when it comes to putting my writing out in public. You would, of course, be wrong. I still get little shivers of nervousness when I hit the “Publish” button on any post, and bigger fears still when I even think about publishing a book. Writing in public is like speaking in public, if you’re doing it right. You’re baring your soul for all to judge, and there are few things as scary as that. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not only doable, it’s worth the effort to overcome that fear.
Here is a hard thing to admit. Sometimes you are the most toxic person in the room. Sometimes, you have allowed the world to bring you down so much that you spew negativity. Sometimes you are the person being cruel to other people. Sometimes you are the person who ends up hurting the person who has done nothing but love you and look after you and be there for you.