“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud. Be you!” ~Shannon L. Alder Ironically, the moment you stop comparing, you win. Because as long as you think winning in life is about being better or having more than others, your comparisons hold your happiness hostage. Comparing yourself to others is a race you can never win. Which begs the question: How can you get off the treadmill of “negative comparisons” and redirect your attention from beating up on yourself to bettering your future? Here are a few suggestions.
I believe that one of the great marks of personal power and spiritual power is the ability to apologize and to forgive. Often those things are seen, for some weird odd reason, as ‘weak’ things. “Oh well, I don’t want to apologize to her because that will make me look weak.” Or, “I’m not going to forgive him because if I forgive him then that gives him the power.” People have been thinking about apology and forgiveness in the wrong ways for so long—that’s why we have so many people who are pent up, angry, frustrated, and bitter around the world.
Here is a hard thing to admit. Sometimes you are the most toxic person in the room. Sometimes, you have allowed the world to bring you down so much that you spew negativity. Sometimes you are the person being cruel to other people. Sometimes you are the person who ends up hurting the person who has done nothing but love you and look after you and be there for you.
The good news is anyone can fall in love with the process. Every expert was once an amateur and every master was first a beginner. What separates them from the crowd is their relentless consistency in showing up and doing the work. Drop your need for immediate results, focus on your daily habits and keep adjusting as you go. The results are always within reach, just slightly beyond where most people are willing to go.
That’s life. You could have a long innings, or a short one — one never knows. As such one can only hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. We all seek the comfort of permanence, but the only reliable truth is that of impermanence. Nobody ever managed to beat that! We surround ourselves with the illusions of permanence – a solid house we call home, people we love who love us back, friends, annual events, plans for the future, books to be read, movies to be watched, and so on. And yet, all slips away from us. Insecure, once again we struggle to look for things that give us a sense of permanence – the company of young people; shopping for clothes we plan to wear on happy occasions, food to fill our fridge with, and books to line our racks with. We resist facing this one unpalatable, yet unchangeable truth — that impermanence is the only permanence.